Popcorn Chicken
by Glitterrock
Summary: Gwen and Krit are back to tormet the people of FMA will they servive unlike the world of Naruto and a new person has arrived to help destroy the FMA minds.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: If you haven't read Orange Soda go back and do so, so you can get the jokes in this one. Orange Soda is a Naruto Humor even if you don't like it, it's just plan funny well you don't really have to read Orange Soda but it will give you some back ground info on this story.

Popcorn Chicken

Kira was sitting on her couch while eating popcorn chicken when a remote flew out of nowhere and hit Kira right in the eye. This caused her to scream in pain and flip over the couch.

When Kira ripped the remote out of her bleeding eye she saw a note attached to it.

It said, '_Kira press the resurrection button damn it!'_

Kira was tempted to press other buttons to, she did and ripped a whole in reality right where her T.V. was. Being slightly stupid like Krit, she walked through it, to then find herself in a town in the middle of the desert. Then she realized that she should press the resurrection since she didn't know what else to do with the remote.

Kira pressed the button than a great blinding flash happened and Krit was standing there yelling at Kira, "About damn time I've been dead for about 40 seconds and it was getting really, really hot."

"Wasn't Gwen with you when you left go get orange soda." asked Kira.

"Yeah, I think she hit rock bottom."

"What?" Kira said dumbfounded.

"I know wait one moment!" Krit started to press different button on the remote than pointed it at the ground and said, "Stand back" Krit and Kira moved a way a little bit then Krit pressed a button and a giant crack opened up in the earth to show flames shooting out of it than a body started to crawl out of it. Than the crack closed and Gwen was standing there with a hot dog in her left hand.

"Wooohoo great B.B.Q. you should have stayed Krit."

"Shut up."

"I would have gotten you a Hot dog but I needed an extra hand." Gwen said laughing.

"You and your god damn hand puns."

"Well than you should have lent a helping hand while I was fighting."

"Just shut up." Krit said while walking a way than she realized that they weren't in the apartment. Krit's neck creaked as she turned to look and Kira and hissed, "What did you do?"

"I pressed a button." she said smiling.

"Look at my stump." yelled Gwen as she jumped on to Kira's back and pointed to the stump.

"What did you two do on the way to the store?" Kira asked scared.

"Nothing." Krit said acting as if nothing was truly wrong.

"Now what button did you push?" asked Krit.

"On of the purple ones," Kira said smiling.

"Great that only narrows in down to like 700 possibilities," said Krit a little ticked off. Then all of a sudden a blond kid ran into Krit followed by a walking suit of armor.

"Hey watch ware your going," Kira yelled trying to scold the blond. Him and Krit got up and glared at each other. They were exactly the same height and Krit could thing of only one thing to say to him.

"You're really short."

"WE'RE THE SAME HEIGHT!"

"So what I'm short but you're a guy aren't you supposed to be taller than me unless your like I don't know 10," Krit said trying not to laugh.

"I'M 16!"

"Wow you need to hit a growth spurt," said Gwen as she ran up and poked him with her stump of an arm.

"What is your name?" asked Kira.

"Ed and that is Al," he said motioning toward the suit of armor.

"Wow what did you work on him to make an empty suit of armor walk around?" said Krit. They just stared at them in stunned silence, and then Gwen decided to brake to awkward silence.

"I've been to hell, it was hot, I think I lost a couple pounds, and they have good hotdogs." Gwen said holding up a hotdog. Everyone just kind of stared at Gwen as she ate her hotdog.

"How did you know that he was empty?" asked Ed

"We have powers," said Kira wiggling her finger in a spooky manner.

"That is really creepy," said Al.

"Yes, yes we are and you are going to take us to Central," said Krit pointing at Ed.

"Why should we do that?" asked Ed

"Because if you don't I am going to teleport a watermelon in your stomach, and Gwen will hide in Al and make funny noises." then they turned to Al because they herd a clinking sound. They saw Gwen poking Al with her sump of an arm.

"Why are you so ecstatic about your lost arm?" asked Ed.

"Because I killed someone," Gwen said still poking Al.

"Fine we will take you but it will take a while to get there," said Ed franticly slowly moving away from Gwen.

"No it won't" said Krit as she pulled out the remote and pushed one of the buttons then all of a sudden a jet car appeared.

"Behold this can brake the sound barrier I think we will be able to get there in a matter of seconds," said Krit giving the car a hug. So everyone got into the car then Gwen got up front to drive. Ed started to panic when he saw this.

"Why is she driving she only has one arm and she is crazy," Ed said frantically.

"Actually she is the sanest of the three of us then it's me then Krit is last she has the most mental problems," Kira informed him. This cause Ed to look at who he was sitting next to.

"I held up a Starbucks," Krit said happily, and with that Gwen drove off to Central.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Roy was sitting in his office doing paper work when a giant hole was busted into his wall across from his desk which was the wall with the door so that meant that some one had drove all the way through the building to crash through that wall.

Ed stumbled from the car that had busted through the wall.

"What is going on here!" Roy said outraged that someone had busted a hole in his wall.

Kira jumped out pumped, "WOOHOO we should do that again." Then Gwen jumped out and said, "Check out my stump," as she waved it at Roy. After her Al got out and sat down thinking if he could he would throw up. Krit then jumped out

"We are from the military of Antarctica, we are here on official business and request a room and new uniforms seeing as we had a bit of a problem on the way," said Krit showing a badge of sum sort. "Those two are on a new drug to make them act this way they will be able to sleep it off so do not worry about them," Krit said pointing to Gwen and Kira.

"Fine I will get what you request but first get that thing out of my office," Roy said pointing to the jet car.

"As you wish, Gwen get that thing out of here and into the parking lot."

"OK!" Gwen then went into the car and drove it to the paring lot then returned in a matter of minutes

"Ok I have gotten the things that you that you have requested Ed will be your guide is there anything else that you wish to have?"

"Yes I want a large amount of normal M&M and gummy worms," Krit said happily.

"Ummm why?" asked Roy.

"I like candy," was Krit's simple reply.

After Kira, Gwen, and Krit had changed into there new uniforms and gotten situated Ed and Al came in.

"Why didn't you tell us you were from another military in Antarctica?" asked Ed

"We were lying you moron," Kira said bluntly.

"Why would you do that!" Al asked.

"So that we would fit in and not have to worry about people noticing us," said Gwen. Then a knock came to the door, and in came Armstrong.

"I have brought the massive amount of M&M and gummy worms that you wished to be brought to you, only I was strong enough to bring them."

"You're not that strong," said Gwen, "I could beat you at arm wrestling with my stump!"

"You are on," Ed was going to tell Armstrong that they were fakes but Kira decided to give him a hug at that point. "If you say anything I will cut out your tongue and feed it to you," Kira whispered to Ed. So the arm wrestling match commenced. The out come was Gwen totally owned Armstrong.

"I am a disgrace, I must go and work out even more," and with that Armstrong busted out the door crying.

"Where did Krit go?" asked Kira.

"I'm in here," everyone turned to see a castle of M&M and Krit sitting on top of it. "I am the ruler of all candy."

"No your not," said Kira.

"YOU DEFY ME!" yelled Krit pointing to Kira. "GO MY MINIONS!" and then hundreds of gummy worms stated to crawl towards Kira.

"Ok I'm hungry," said Gwen as she left the room. Ed and Al went with her to show her where the kitchen was.

"So you are friends with those two?" asked Al

"To an extent," answered Gwen then they heard Kira scream from the room. "They are best friends." They went to the kitchen for about two hours before daring to return to the room, and when they had, they regretted it. The M&M castle had a hole in the side, gummy worm parts were everywhere. Kira was under a mass of gummy worms and Krit had fallen off and was now just lying on the floor. Gwen just stepped over them and said "Well I'm tired I'm going to go to bed see you guys in the morning," then she slammed the door in their faces.

"Hey Ed."

"Yah?"

"It's like 2pm," with that Ed opened the door to see that there was nothing in the room no mess, and no furniture. Krit, Kira, and Gwen were sitting in the middle of the floor playing cards.

"Morning," said Gwen

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE ROOM!" yelled Ed. Then Kira got up and ran to them and yelled, "DON'T WATCH ME DRESS!" and she then slammed the door in their faces.

"Hey Ed."

"Yah Al?"

"She was fully clothed."

"I know," and so he opened the door again to see them sleeping in beds all the furniture was back and everything was normal except for the fact tat it was night time in the room. Then a pillow flew at Ed, "Shut the door we're trying to sleep." Ed then shut the door.

"Hey Ed."

"Yah Al?"

"Why was it night time in that room?" they both looked out a window and it was the middle of the day.

"What the hell!" Ed then opened the door to see it being the right time of day. Krit was sitting on a bed reading, Gwen was playing a game of solitaire with a deck of cards, and Kira was working on a puzzle.

"Hey what took you guys so long getting here?" asked Gwen.

"But. . ."

"We have been waiting here for about an hour," complained Kira.

"But. . ."

"Yah, what were you guys doing in the kitchen so long?" asked Gwen

"But we walked you back and then you slammed the door and we opened it and there was nothing in the room then Kira yelled and slammed the door and then we opened it again and it was night and now we opened it again and here you are and ummm yah," Ed said all in one breath.

"Ummm what are you talking about?" asked Gwen.

"Yah she came back alone about a hour ago and said that you guys had said that you would catch up," said Kira

"We never said that we walked you back and then. . ." stammered Al.

"I think you guys should go lie down your hallucinating," said Krit then Lt. Hawkeye came in and said, "Your presence has been requested,"

So the girls left the room with Ed and Al dumfounded.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"You wanted to see us?" asked Gwen.

"We seem to be having some problems, there are strange creatures coming out of people and then there are invisible creatures kill not only those but are people as well. Do you know anything about this?" Roy asked looking over his shoulder out the window. At this Gwen and Krit looked at Kira.

"We may know something about it, we will take care of it," Kira said nervously. So Gwen Kira and Krit left the office and headed outside to see if they could fix this,

"Kira, what other buttons did you push?" asked Krit.

"Just a little red button that said AVP, nothing to big right?" At this Krit stopped dead, and turned slowly to Kira.

"You pressed THAT button?"

". . . maybe," Kira said starting to cower in fear.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" at this Krit leapt at Kira and commenced to strange her. "YOU FUCKING PRESSED THE BUTTON OF DEATH YOU STUPID DIP SHIT!" Krit screamed while punching Kira in the face. At this point Ed and Al came up to see Kira's head becoming one with the floor.

"Ummm . . . Should we stop her?" Ed asked Gwen pointing Krit and Kira.

"Yah you better stop her or Kira will not have a face." Al grabbed Krit off Kira and tried to hold her back, but Krit commenced to beat her head against Al and it started to dent. He then Held her away from himself but kept her away from anyone.

"HISS!" Krit did this while trying to claw at Kira's bloodied lifeless form on the floor.

"What should I do with her now!" Al said frantically.

"Just hold onto her until she stops hissing at you then it should be fine." Slowly she settled down.

"Can you put me down I have to resurrect Kira?" Krit asked. Al slowly lowered her down then she pulled out the remote and brought Kira back to life.

"Oh man that was fucked up and it hurt really. . ."

"KILL YOU!" Krit yelled and she tried to claw out Kira's eyes again. Al picked her up again.

"HISS HISS HISS."

"This is kind of scary," said Al looking at Krit.

"Never mind that we need a plan to kill those things out there or were all seriously fucked," Gwen said getting mad at everyone.

"Ok how?" asked Ed still keeping a eye on Krit who was still hissing and biting anything that came to close. Witch happened to be a jerky stick because Kira was amused with taunting Krit with it, but not getting it soon threw Krit into rage again.

"KIRA GIVE HER THE GOD DAMN JERKY STICK!" Gwen yelled at Kira and with that Kira tossed it to Krit. This made Krit happy but Al still held onto her.

"The Predators are the ones we need to help. They have a brain and can think the Aliens will just kill us," said Kira

"Ok so we try to make nice with the invisible guys ok, anything else we need to know? " asked Gwen.

"Don't try to use any weapons on the predators they will just kill you then," Kira informed them.

"So how do we go about doing this?" asked Ed

"We will split up into two teams Kira and Ed will go with me and Al and Krit will stay here and not get killed."

"What if those things come after us?" said Al.

"If all hope is lost then just let Krit go and then hide," said Gwen.

"Why?" asked Al

"Krit," Gwen said snapping her fingers to get Krit's attention, " they stuff kittens into jars and sell them on e-bay." Krit's eyes went red and she held very still, and in a very rough voice they herd Krit say, "there will be blood shed."

So Gwen Kira and Ed went off to try and become friends with the Predators.

"What will happen if Al lets go of her?" asked Ed as they went.

"May God have mercy on everyone in there then," said Kira.

"What why?"

"It will rain blood today if he lets her down," and with that they went on.

**MEANWHILE**

Al herd a hissing sound that wasn't coming from Krit. He panicked and accidentally let go.

**BACK WITH THE OTHERS**

They had found a Predator and had made it trust them but what they could understand from him the Predators were loosing. The Aliens had somehow become organized.

"Were so fucked," Kira said this very matter of fact.

"Lets try to kill the source or the leader," suggested Ed.

"Yah lets do that," agreed Gwen. So after finally getting the Predator to understand and help them they went off to the Aliens base camp. Which was right where they left Al and Krit.

"I guess he didn't let go of her," said Kira.

"I hope he is ok," said Ed. And all Gwen could think of was _ 'If on of those things ate the remote were all going to die for real.'_ At that moment they were jumped by the aliens. The predator took out two but was over run soon and killed. Gwen, Ed, and Kira stood frozen in fear. The Aliens made them walk, taking them to there leader. They were taken to a room to see Al and playing chess with one of them.

"Hey guys did you know that Krit can speak crazy hissing serpent thing?" said Al cheerfully. "Ah man you beat me again that's the third time!" the Alien seemed to laugh at Al's loss. Then Krit came in hissing with one of them. Then opened a portal and had al the aliens transported through it.

"You know they would be a lot happier if those Predator things didn't use them as sport, but it is ok the Aliens agreed to leave and take the predator carcasses back with them."

"Krit were did you send them?" asked Gwen.

"To the Predator's home planet," Krit said smiling. Just then Roy came in with a few other funny dressed people.

"We're happy those things are gone but these are the Antarctica officers that were coming . . . Not you."


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

"Did we say Antarctica Police? Uh were sorry we meant Atlantis Police. You see we get those things confused all the time, and yah and, and, and FUCKING RUN!" With that Krit grabbed Ed and jumped out the widow. Followed by Gwen, Al, and Kira who had for some reason grabbed Roy. The Antarctica Police following them riding penguins. Which they usually just slid around on but since there was no ice they accident crushed the penguins and had to resort in just running after them instead.

"Don't you have a better idea?" panted Kira as she dragged Roy.

"There after me stump!" screamed Gwen flailing her stump as she jumped into Al.

"Not really," said Krit still pulling Ed. "Wait Ed, isn't the human body mostly made of water?"

"Duh"

"Dude were fucking shrinky dinks!" Yelled Krit skidding to a stop and turning towards their pursuers. Quickly pulling out her remote and pointed it at the Antarctica police and pushed one of the buttons. A beam of red light shot from the remote and hit them. Causing them to shrink and shrivel up into little 3inch tall raisin people. They walked up to the little raisin people.

"Th. . .ere. . .wi. . .ll . .be othe . .ers," and with that he crumbled and blew away in the wind.

"Ahhh the poor little raisin mans broken," said Gwen poking her head out of Al. She then jumped down and made a little happy face in the pile of ashes that was once one of the police. "There you go now you will be smiling forever," and with that she kicked it.

"Well great just great we are being hunted by the Antarctica," said Kira

"We don't know that," said Krit but just then the remote beeped. She pulled it out and opened up to a mini TV/radar inside it. "Ok I take that back we're are on their most wanted list and we are labeled as armed and dangerous. Hey Ed, Al, Roy you guys are on here to as accomplices in the killing of three of their top officers." At this they stood there stunned

"BUT WE DIDN"Y EVEN DO ANYTHING!" yelled Ed.

"Doesn't matter they think that you are also responsible for the crime so you are going to pay with your head," Kira said this way too cheerfully while smiling.

"This isn't happening I'm sleeping and this is all some really fucked up dream, I'll wake up any minute," said Roy as he held his head and started to walk in circles. Then Gwen walked over to him and poked him with her stump. This stopped him and he just started at her as she did it a couple more times.

"You seem here to me!" squeed Gwen happily.

". . ." No one could really tell what was going on in his head cause he just started to drool and gurgle and make funny noises. Seeing this Kira went and light a fire under his ass (literally) to snap him out of it.

"OW HOT, HOT,HOT!" screamed Roy trying to put out his butt.

"You're a pryo right?" asked Kira.

Roy getting his problem under control answered "yes."

Kira's eyes light up," I have a new friend!" Kira said happily giving Roy a hug. "We can burn so much stuff together."

"Hey ED."  
"Yah Al."  
"I'm scared."  
"Yah I am to"

"Ok enough chit-chat we need to get out of here and find a good hiding place or we will be arrested," said Krit who was getting tired of hearing people whine. "Gwen don't you have friends underground?"

"The Moles talk to me," said Gwen seeming to space out and go to a different land as she said this.

"Well can you get in touch with them please so that they can help us?" asked Krit. With this Gwen threw her head against the ground and seemed to be listening to something as she walked in circles with her head to the ground.

"Is she crazy?" asked Ed.

"What ever gave you that idea?" asked Krit who was currently deep in conversation with herself.

**_"It will be easy just one quick snap and its over"_**

_"I'm not listening to you ."_

**_"But you are you can't not listen to me I'm inside your head"_**

_"Not listening, not listening."_

**_"You know you want to"_**

"SHUT UP I'M NOT LISNEING TO YOU JUST SHUT UP!" screamed Krit as she started to beat herself in the head. This really started everyone, except for Gwen who was still "listening" to something and Kira who simple said, "Are they trying to make you brake the glow stick so it will glow?"

"I'm saving it," frantically replied Krit.

"Why don't you just brake it?" asked Kira.

"It's a special glow stick," said Krit trying to hide something in her pocket.

"How so?" asked Kira.

"It glows blue."

". . ."

"What?"

"Nothing," said Kira just then a mole popped out of the ground in front of Gwen.

"At last you have arrived # 265748609236453 I have been "sending" for someone forever ," said Gwen seeming to scold the mole. It started to frantically squeak this made Gwen's expression change to anger.

"Are you telling me someone has broken the defenses? WHO?" This was replied by more frantic squeaking followed by it flailing its little paws around, Gwen's eyes widened.

"Krit 'THEY' have broken though my defenses and gotten to my people, this is bad if they have gotten under ground then they may have gotten to your and Kira's people."

"We need to split up then, you go and try to drive 'THE ENEMY' away take Al with you. I'll take Ed and go to my people. Kira you take Roy and go to yours and prepare for war, those creatures have gone to far this time. Plus if we split up then the Antarctica police won't find us as easily."

"Why should we help you we can hide on our own and me and Al need to go and find something," said Ed crossing his arms and tapping his foot.

"We can restore your bodies to there original state easily if that is what you want," said Krit seeming somewhat bored.

"WHAT, YOU CAN DO THAT!" yelled Al all of a sudden really happy.

"Of course but you have to help us first only because it would be a shame to loose your body the second you got it. We don't know what kind of situation we are going into so its better you stay the way you are for now ok." Krit replied.

"Ok it is a deal."

"So this is going to be a full out war this time no holding back?" asked Kira.

"Yep everything goes," said Gwen.

"Excellent," said Kira as she grabbed Roy and disappeared in a ball of fire.

"Come here Al," said Gwen. Al hesitated then walked over to Gwen. Then the ground seemed to move pulling Gwen and Al into the ground.

Krit pulled out her remote and opened a portal and walked in dragging Ed with her.

"What kind of "people" are we going to?"

"The fun kind," Krit replied smiling. This scared the hell out of Ed as he "followed" Krit into the portal.

**A/N:** I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! I had a job and had no time to write, (I quit so all is well). I am also sorry that is so short, (lets see you write after not sleeping for 3days). Also sorry for it not being as funny as other pieces of work, (also due to little sleep). Its called a set up chapter you uneducated gofers so yah not as funny as the others but it will get funny I promise with all my soul ,(ooops) ok maybe not but it will be really fucking funny.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

When Kira and Roy emerged from the puff of flames they where standing in a forest with yarn ball growing from the trees. Roy looked around at all of the trees disbelieving what he was seeing and about wet his pants when Kira meowed. Since she did that millions of cats came from every where. Some popped out of the ground with little flowers on their heads, others some how were one with the yarn balls growing from the trees.

Kira started petting many of the cats and started meowing to them than about screamed in horror when one of her cats told her that 'THEM' where sitting on the edge of her land. Though she wasn't too sure of who 'THEM' where but every one else knew sort of. Kira grabbed Roy by the collar of his jacket and drug him away following some of cats.

When they got near a large cave Kira said, "You guys get to take him now, I don't know how to do surgery." Roy looked at Kira with large frightened eyes as many cats lifted Roy off the ground and took him away into the cave.

"Oh yeah here is the little goodie bag that you need." and Kira handed a paper bag to one of the cat and it followed the mass of cats carrying Roy.

As Roy was carried into the cave he noticed that the cave walls started turning into the inside of a house only it was pure white. When the cat's placed him up of an operating table Roy looked around and saw nothing but a white room other than a vending machine that had operating tools in it and a bag of skittles.

"Would you like a bag of skittles?" said a white cat calmly, Roy fainted. At this a small orange cat came up to the white one and meowed.

"Meow? _should we still drug him up sir?"_

"_No he is out cold and we don't want to waste anything on a human anyway."_

_"What if he wakes up?"_

_"Don't humans say that pain builds character?" _The orange cat shrugged at this and put the needle back were it came from. The White cat turned to Roy and sighed, _Krit is the only one that knows how to do this surgery without damaging the person. Oh well there is plenty of yarn for him to play with._ With that the surgery began.

(2 hours later)

Roy woke up in the white room that all the cats had drug him into. His head hurt really bad, he put his hands to his head to hold it still and make things stop spinning. When he put his hands to his head he felt something fuzzy that wasn't his normal hair. He tugged at and found that they were stuck to his head and it hurt to pull on them.

He looked around and saw a mirror in the corner of the room. He walked over to it and looked in. Then all he could do was scream. There were cat ears coming out of his head, that's when he noticed the tail. He grabbed it and started tugging on that to, it wouldn't come off, and neither would the ears.

"I see your awake," said Kira coming into the room setting a tray down on a table. Roy turned to her quickly and saw that she also had ears and a tail. He stopped and started for a bit then went on tugging at his new ears and tail, seeming very confused.

"I can make my ears and tale leave and come at will," this little bit of information seemed to cheer Roy up a bit.

"So I can remove the ears and tale?" he asked.

"Well no not you, sorry."  
"Why not me!" Roy yelled at her.

"Because one of my cats did the surgery and the only one that can do it right is Krit and she isn't here so I had to make it permanent with a few side affects."

"Side affects?" with that Kira threw a all of yarn on the floor and instantly Roy jumped on it and started to play with it. Then seeming to realize what he was doing he sat up very quickly and started at her.

"See just a couple small ones," Kira said smiling at him. Roy didn't know what to do other than just sit there and stare at the little ball of yarn on the floor. It seemed to mock him and he hated it, he gave it a little whap with his hand and watched it role a little, still mocking him with it's behavior of a innocent yarn ball. (A/N: We wishes to know if we're the only one that does this there has to be more people that play with yarn.)

"Ok Roy come out of La, La Land and lets go we need to see who or what s at the border," said Kira holding her hand out to Roy. He took it and followed Kira down the hall and out of the cave that he had been drug into.

"So what is attacking anyway?" asked Roy turning to Kira.

"I don't know," Kira said shrugging her shoulders, "We all have so many different enemies that it is hard to tell but the fact that at least two of us are being attacked at the same time is bad. It may mean that some of are enemies have joined forces, and that would be very bad." Kira stopped at one of the trees and started to climb up it like a cat.

"Hey how do I get up?"  
"Us you claws stupid there retractable so you probably didn't notice them," said Kira still climbing up the tree. Roy looked at his hand and tightened all the mussels in it and sure enough there were claws. _that's kind of neat_ thought Roy as he started to climb up after Kira. When he got to were Kira was he saw that there was a plat form to walk on. Kira was using a pair of binoculars to look around. This was all well and nice but Roy found a very interesting little bug crawling up a branch.

"Hewo there widdle buggy who are you?" Roy asked the bug then squishing it with his finger, "Not to well I take it."

"Oh shit," said Kira drawing Roy's attention away from the corpse of the bug.

"What is it?" asked Roy getting up and walking over to Kira, who in turn handed him the binoculars and pointed out to the field outside the forest ware there were many little fleas. Roy used the binoculars to see that they weren't fleas at all, but something much worst than anything they could have imagined.

"Are those monkeys with snow shovels?"

"Yes." with that Kira meowed and a cat ran up to her.

_"Rally the generals in the meeting room and get me Admiral Butterscotch quickly war is upon us!" _the cat nodded and ran off.

"Hey I understood that."

"Of course you can, your no use to me if you can't communicate with my people," stated Kira. They left the platform to and when to a very big tree in the center of the wood. The tree was huge and had a fairly large opening about 20 feet up and had many other smaller ones above that one. All different kinds of cats could be seen going into the smaller ones. Quickly Kira and Roy climbed up and went into the bigger one, and ended up in a big room with no furniture except for pillows and random fuzzy thingies hanging from the ceiling. Trying not to stop and play with fuzzy things Roy followed Kira to a patch of black velvet cushions and sat down with her.

_"You all know the reason we are here right," _said Kira getting everyone's attention.

The first to speak was a female Siamese sitting a little ways away from Roy, _"yes we know why we are here, those stupid monkeys are attacking us again, I thought that we had a treaty with them."_

_"We have a treaty with the Pirate Monkeys, they are on their own they have no connection to there bredderan," _a grey cat informed the Siamese. Just then a brown and black striped cat came limping into the room, his side bloody.

_"What happened to you Stripes!" _yelled Kira running over to the injured cat and picking it up and cradling it in her arms.

_"I tried to deliver the message to Admiral Butterscotch that you had requested his presents but his fleet had already been attack, I found him dead just in our borders, along with all of his men. I tired to fined survivors but I couldn't then I was attacked. . ." _the cat started hacking and shivering in her arms.

_"No rest you did all you could it will be alright," _said Kira hugging the cat.

_"I . . . I wish. . I could . . . agree with . . . you," _with that he died. Kira engulfed herself in flames turning the corpse of the messenger to ash and having it slid through her fingers.

_"Rally the troops, the rivers of this forest are going to run red."_

Then there was some noise outside that got everyone's attention. The monkeys were already to there home base and were trying to get in. The fire around Kira grew as she ran to the window and put her arm out and shot fire down. Then she turned to Roy, "Are you going to help me or are you going to just stand there!" Kira screamed at Roy.

_"No you can't you'll burn down the forest if you do that," _yelled a black cat pouring water out the window.

_"Where are all of the troops!" yelled Kira starting to pour water out the windows as well._

_"They are at the southern border, remember you sent them there when the hawks were trying to attack us. It will take forever to get them here."_ said a orange cat helping Roy get more water.

_"Then we need to get to them, don't try to bring them here we have no footing here anymore. We need to regroup and organize. We'll take the tunnels that go under the tree, quickly bard the doors and windows we need to get everyone out of here!" _with that the cats started to work right away. Kira and Roy started to pack food a little food, it was a two day walk to the southern part of the wood, only if you hurry. Quickly they got everyone down to the tunnels as fast as they could only to find that the tunnel was collapsed. They could hear the monkeys above them beating the shovels to the ground and howling.

_"What happened to the tunnel?" _asked a little pepper color kitten that Kira was caring.

"_Those basterds must have been stomping so hard that the tunnel collapsed," _cursed Kira.

_"What's that," _said one of the cats nodding to the top of the collapsed tunnel, there was a small hole at the very top.

_"Perfect," _said Kira putting the kitten through the hole, _"change of plans, we'll have to stay here but you guys can go and get the troops. Keep the kittens safe and try to get help from Krit hopefully she doesn't have a bunch of monkey attacking her. I know that Gwen is currently having problems but hopefully she can help to." _

After all of the cats had gone through, Kira and Roy went back to the tree and tried to secure it better blocking all ways in or out. Soon they were just sitting there in the cushioned room listening to the snow shovel monkeys outside trying to get in.

Roy had been playing the fuzzy thing but had gotten bored a hour ago and at this point the thought that he was going to die of boredom. Kira was just sitting there reading a book and tapping a spork on against her leg. _What the hell how could she just sit there reading? What is she reading anyway? _Roy tilted his head so he could see the title of the book, **_10,000 Way to Kill, Gut, and Maim People with a Spork! _** He didn't know why but he had to stop Kira from reading that book because his life depended on it for some strange reason.

"Hey Kira do you want to play a game?" asked Roy rather nervously.

"What game?"

"I don't know you can choose one."

"Ok I bet that I can stick my tough out longer than you," said Kira over excitedly.

"Ummm ok then."

So it began the I can stick my tough out longer than you contest. To those of you that don't know this is actually really hard to do for more than 5 minutes because your tongue dries out really fast and it starts to hurt after a little while. However Kira is the champion of this game and so she is determined to win. Roy just thinks it is so stupid that he couldn't loose.

**7 hours later**

We find our morons in the kitchen pouring water on their tongues, trying to keep it from dry out so they can continue there idiot contest.(A/N ok when they talk if you want to know what it really sounds like then hold onto your tough and speak out load cause I'm not going to type that cause its 2am and yah).

"I can't feel my tough," Kira informed Roy.

"Well neither can I, so were even."

"I'm going to win."

"Are not"

"Are to"

"Are not"

"Are to"

"D 2" (A/N ha, ha, ha get it right, right ok you all suck)

"That was really dumb," said Kira with a look of annoyance on her face.

"I thought it was funny," said Roy pouting a bit.

"You know what Krit told me one time, that if you stick your tough out long enough and often enough it keeps growing."

"That, that is disturbing."

"Yah I thought so to, but what if after this we can't put are toughs in are mouths anymore or something like that!"  
"That would be really scary," an awards silence seemed to fall over them.

"I wonder if this is how Ochimaru got his tough so long?" said Kira. At this point they both put there toughs in there mouths and called it a draw.

"What should we do now?" asked Roy.

"We cold play another game," suggested Kira.

"Like what?" Roy asked a little scared still recovering from there last "game"

"How about see who can stick the most raisins up there nose!"

"Ummm ewww."

"Fire juggling?"

"No."

"hanging up side down?"

"No,"

"Drinking the most Orange juice?"

"No," just then monkey arms started braking though the blocks of the windows. Kira ran over to one of the flailing arms and broke it off.

"How about who can make the most necklaces out of monkey arm, leg and skull bones?"

"Are ribs extra points?" asked Roy

"Yes, but the big points are getting a beating heart on the necklace or bracelet." Kira said happily as she waved the monkey arm around

"What if we both do it?"

"Who's ever beats the longest?"

"Deal."

A/N: That took me way to long _you were walking circles in your kitchen half the time slacker!_ Hey I HAD to walk circles in the kitchen it is my ritual to writing stories you stupid little ball of scotch tape! . . . Anyway yah I'M NORMAL! _in your world maybe. _shut up.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Ed and Krit had been walking for a couple of hours in _silence_. Mostly because Ed couldn't really think of anything to say to Krit and it was driving him nuts. Why wasn't she talking, she always talks. Ed had to break the silence or he was going to go insane.

"Are we there yet?"

"Almost," was Krit's simple reply, then she continued to walk in silence. This aggravated Ed to no end.

"Why aren't you talking! SAY SOMETHING!" as Ed was yelling he noticed that Krit was all of a sudden really happy for no real reason. "Why are you smiling all of a sudden?"

"We're here!" shouted Krit happily throwing her arms in the air and laughing.

"Were ware, we're just in the middle of the woods!"

Krit didn't even bother replying to him, she looked around and made a couple of little yipping sounds. All of a sudden a little grey fox came out of a log and ran up to Krit and started to make little whining and barking noises. Krit replying to him in the same manor. She then picked him up and walked over to Ed.

"This is Pipit. Isn't he the cutest thing that you have ever seen!" Krit said while holding the fox up to Ed . Not knowing what to do he just pat the fox on the head and said, "nice fox." Pipit seemed happy with this and turned to Krit and barked, "_is he going to be like us soon?" _Krit looked like she was thinking then replied to him, _yes, I think he should be one of us. Go tell the others, and get things ready before we get there." _ with that Pipit leaped out of her arms and ran into the woods.

"What was that about?" asked Ed looking at Krit suspiciously.

"Oh nothing that really concerns you, well come on we need to take care of something first before I check on the boarder." Then Krit started to walk into the woods with Ed following behind.

As they walked through the woods, Ed noticed that Pipit wasn't the only fox in the woods. In fact, they were every were. Looking at him out of holes in the ground and hollow logs, some were up in holes in the trees, and then a few grey foxes like Pipit were up in the trees looking down on him, ( A/N: the Grey Fox is the only fox that can truly climb trees, most other foxes live in burrows).

"Why are there so many foxes here?" asked Ed looking around seeming a little uncomfortable.

"These are my people like Kira's are cats and Gwen's are moles. You are new here and they want to see who you are. Don't worry they aren't going to hurt you, I brought you here and they know I only bring people that they can trust."

"What would happen if I just stumbled in here?"

"They would probably try to drive you out and if that didn't work then they would simple kill you." said Krit not really noticing the affect it had on Ed. They soon came up to a rather large burrow under the roots of a big tree.

"Here we are." said Krit making sure that Ed was still following her. She tried to usher him in but he didn't seem to want to move anymore.

"I think I'll just wait out here, you said that it didn't concern me anyway," then Ed noticed he couldn't back up the foxes were blocking him from backing up, in fact they were slightly pushing him forward.

"Ok it dose concern you a little so you are going to come with me." said Krit getting a little impatient with Ed for his stalling.

"What the heck are you trying to pull! I'm not going in there and you can't make me!" Ed yelled at Krit. Krit looked slightly annoyed then started talking to the foxes.

_"Make him get his arse in here."_

_"Can we bite him?"_

_"Try not to but if you must then it is ok." _Then all of a sudden a fox slammed into Ed's back knocking him forward onto the ground. The they started to pull him in but he fought back knocking a few of them off of him. Just then Krit came up and stabbed him with a needle that a fox had handed to her. Ed's little world went fuzzy as the foxes continued to drag him into the burrow, then everything went black.

**1 hour and ½ later**

Ed woke up in a white room on a operating table. Something was tickling his hand, he realized that it was fuzzy and was probably one of the foxes. He grabbed it and tried to throw it across the room but ended up throwing himself off of the table. Trying to figure out what just happened he saw a fox tail, _I have you this time. _He once again grabbed at it and continued trying to grab it until Krit walked into the room.

"What are you doing?" asked Krit looking at him like he was crazy. He then realized that she had fox ears and a fox tail.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!" yelled Ed pointing at Krit.

"I can make these," she then tugged at her ears and tail, "come and go as I please. Most people don't have them so I keep them hidden, but when I am with my people I have them out. So are you done chasing your own tail cause we have work to do."

"What are you talking about?" said Ed rather confused at her last sentence.

Looking rather annoyed Krit pointed to a mirror in a corner of the room, "Look for yourself." Ed walked over to the mirror and looked, but regret that he did and jumped back. He had seen himself but he had fox ears ad a tail. He slowly went back to the mirror and looked. Then slowly reached up to his head and touched his ears, then his tail.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!"

"You should be happy, at least I did it. Now you wont have any major side affects. You might get little urges to eat a mouse or something at most but other than that you are fine. You should feel sorry for Roy if anyone." Krit stated as Ed continue to tug at his new ears.

"Why would I feel sorry for him?" asked Ed inspecting his tail now.

"He is probably going through the same surgery only it is a cat, and it is being performed by a cat so he's going to get all of the side affects." This didn't seem to bother Ed at all in fact it made him giggle a bit.

"Wait you said that you can change back and forth, so can I?" Ed asked looking up at Krit.

"No sorry, you struggled to much and put me in a bad mood. If you had come quietly I would have made it so you can change back but you pitched a fit so your going to pay for it. Just think of it this way your not the only one that is going to be permanently scared for life, Roy can join you." ending the conversation there Krit motioned for him to follow as she walked out of the room.

Walking out of the burrow that they had entered they walked a ways till Krit stopped and jumped up into a tree and climbed to the top. Ed followed and for the first time noticed that he had claws.

"Why do I have these?" asked Ed holding his left hand up to Krit.

"You were kind of born with that," said Krit seeming really confused by his really stupid question.

"Not my hand I'm talking about the claws!"

"You got them when you got the tail and ears. Just think of it this way you will always have a letter opener on your hand." turning away from him Krit continued to climb up the tree. Ed, being a little flustered followed her onto a platform at the top of the tree that over looked the forest. Just in the middle there was a lake then more trees.

"The lake and the forest behind it belongs to us so we could never get to the border from here in less than a day."

"Then what was the point of coming up here?" Ed said clearly annoyed.

"You'll see," just then a blue jay flew down with a note in its beak, it hoped over to Krit and gave it to her.

"What you control birds to?"

"No, we made a treaty with them they help us with messages and I we don't steal there eggs," Krit said looking over the note.

"WHAT!" Krit yelled at the bird, "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT I SAW THEM DIE!" The bird and Ed were cowering as Krit screamed and yelled off her anger. After she stopped for a little bit Ed got the courage ask, "Who did you see die?"

"The Teletubies, I saw Neji gut them all four of them," (A/N: for reference read Orange Soda one of are other stories if you have no idea what I am talking about.) quickly she wrote something on a peace of paper and gave it back to the bird. "Give this to Admiral Hex, if you fail me I'll turn you and all your people into pin cushions," very frightened the bird flew off with the note, as Krit jumped out of the tree.

_"Pipit!"_

_"Yes, ma'am." _At this point Ed realized he could understand what they were saying. He was going to announce it but it seemed Krit was in no mood to hear anything stupid from him so he kept quite.

_"Spread the word that Teletubies are at our Easter border. Get everyone ready for battle."_

_"Yes, ma'am but I came here to tell you something important."_

_"What is it?_

_"Cats have come seeking aid they were attacked and their leader and someone else is trapped in their base they can't get out. They are asking us to help them, and they have little ones with them. What should we do?"_

_"Take all of those that can't fight, our's and there's get them to the refuge on the mountain. Then have all fighters go to the eastern boarder to fight off the Teletubies, Ed and I will take a quad of are best fighters and rescue Kira and Roy."_ Pipit nodded and ran off. Then Krit looked at Ed and said, "You had better be a good fighter, cause were about to take on an army of freakish monkeys with snow shovels."

"Sounds like fun."

"Oh it will be," they waited there until four foxes came to them. Two red, one white and one black. "Ed I want you to meet Nesbit and Niven," she pointed to the two red foxes, "and this is Dreamweaver," she patted the white one on the head. "Then last but not least Night Fire." Ed pat each one in turn.

"Now that we all know each other lets go, Kira will be mad if I let her die by the hands of a monkey that hit her with a snow shovel."

A/N: wooooh that was fun another 2am project - _that is the only time that you work on it you looser. _ Shut the hell up what do you know your just the cap of f of a chocolate syrup container! _Yet I am smarter than you, how dose it feel to have no brain power? _Oh you are going to die! _ I am a peace of plastic you can't hurt me. _ Fuck you . . . . . . Anyway thanks for reading chapter 7 will be up soon -


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Al found himself in a under ground cave. He was moving but he wasn't walking. Then he noticed that Gwen and himself were being carried by moles.

"This is my base, do you like it?" asked Gwen, not even looking at Al.

"Uh, yes it is very nice," said Al looking at the pikes with human skulls on them. Gwen's eyes shifted to see what he was doing. Seeing what he was looking at she said one word, "trespassers ," then her eyes repositioned to looking in front of her. This kind of scared Al and made him wish that he was with his brother.

"I should have had Krit make you a human again," said Gwen suddenly.

"Uh why?" asked Al taking his mind off the scary cave they were in.

"You don't have a body that I can manipulate to suit my purpose, but I guess it was for the best you don't need to breath and Ed and Roy would of died on the way down here."

"What about you, you need to breath to don't you?"

"Breathing is for humans," this caused a strange silence for a bit until Al broke it, "So why would you need to manipulate me anyway?" asked Al a bit nervous.

"Like Kira and Krit, when I get a new human member we change them to suit are people. You would become like every one else here."

"YOU WOULD TURN ME INTO A MOLE!"

"Not exactly," said Gwen. Just then there was a small burst of flame. Then little demons ran around with the moles. One came up to Gwen and handed a piece of paper to her. She read it quickly and smiled. "Well this is good news, things aren't as bad as I thought that they would be. It seems that over half of the enemy troops have found their way into my entertainment pit."

"Entertainment pit?"

"I sit up on my throne and push buttons as random parts of the room turn into different things. Like a nice little pit of spikes, or snakes, or broken glass, one of my favorites is lava."

". . ."

"Oh lets go watch, 6,354,785 make sure anyone that didn't find the pit is killed, and 7,364,579 make sure everyone is still evacuated just in case ok. Alright lets go Al we are going to have some fun." with that they went to the pit. When they got there all Al saw was a bunch of children in a big arena crying.

"What is this I thought you said that there was a army of your enemies invading?" said Al very confused and slightly angry that Gwen would keep little children in a pit for entertainment.

"There is a army, look at all of those little suckers down there," said Gwen pointing to all of the children in the pit.

"But it is just a bunch of kids!" yelled Al.

"Don't be such a sap! That is just what they want you to think. If you don't believe me then I will prove it. 7,584,938 send an adult prisoner down there to the children." Another door opened into the arena and a scruff prisoner walked out. Then all of the children looked at him and smile. At first the prisoner was afraid but than he saw the children smiling so he smiled back inching a little closer to them. Then his smile faded and turned into a face of pure terror as the children started to spit acid onto him. He screamed in pain as the acid burned hi flesh. The children jumped him and cooked him to there liking. Slowly they devoured his cooked corpse.

"So Al you still want to go down there and have all of the little "children"?" asked Gwen looking up at Al.

"What are they?" asked Al still terrified as he watched the children tearing at the now prisoner.

"They are the children of Barney. I killed him but his follower are still alive. They want to resurrect him and use me and my people as the sacrifices." Just then another mole came up to Gwen and started to squeak.

_We just got word from Kira her people were over run and had to flea, and seek refuge with Krit. However Krit was also attacked and is having trouble keeping them at bay. Krit, Ed, and her elite troops are going to save Kira and Roy who are trapped in the main base. It also turns out we were wrong this lot in the pit are not even 2 of what was coming. There are thousands of them in the tunnels. Luckily we got are people out but are homes are being destroyed, what do we do."_

_"Send all warriors to help protect Krit's border, keep only the amount needed to activate the secret weapon," _Gwen then pushed a button and all of the children fell into a pi of lava. _"Me and Al will go and help Krit save Kira's ass," _with that the mole left.

"Come on Al we have to go and help Krit and Kira," then the ground started to move back upward.

They were soon in a room made of wood and they could hear shouting outside. Gwen and Al found Kira and Roy making necklaces and they could hear Krit and Ed outside shouting curses at who ever they were fighting.

"Kira what the hell do you think your doing," said Gwen looking at Kira and folding her arms.

"Making necklaces but Kira and Ed are killing all of are material."

As Gwen and Kira had there little fight Al inched closer to Roy who was oblivious to what Al was doing until he was right behind him.

"Uh hi Al how are you?" asked Roy really nervous for some reason. Al sat down and starred at Roy for a long time. This was starting to making him really uncomfortable, "what's wrong Al." All of a sudden Al grabbed Roy and gave him a big hug.

"YOU ARE A KITTIE! KITTIE, KITTIE, KITTIE, KITTIE I LOVE YOU!" yelled Al nearly crushing Roy. Gwen and Kira had were paying attention to them now.

"ED HELP! YOUR BROTHER IS MOLESTING ME!" screamed Roy as Al continued to cuddle him.

Outside Ed was trying to figure if what he had herd was real or something sick that he just imagined. Killing the last few monkeys Krit and Ed went up to see what all of the noise was about. When they finality got up there they wished that they hadn't. Al was hugging Roy who was trying with everything that her had to get away from him, but he just couldn't. Krit then started to laugh.

"I know how to make this even funnier!" then Krit pulled out her remote and zapped Al with it. When the sparkles had cleared there was a human Al hugging on Roy. In some ways this relieved Roy ( you try being hugged by a giant suit of armor), but then he was a bit shocked. Al was as tall as he was, and still cuddling him.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" screamed Ed pointing at Al, "HOW COULD YOU BE TALLER THAN ME!"

Completely ignoring Ed, Al started to talk, "I can feel now, Roy your hair is soft."

"Get a room you two," said Kira looking at them.

"Hey Gwen have you ever herd of a kid rapping a adult?" asked Krit.

"No but there is a first time for everything," said Gwen watching Al molest Roy.

"I am going to need therapy after this," said Ed walking toward the door.

A/N: Not as long as the other chapters but well I'm tired and this seemed like a good place to stop.

_Liar, the only reason your stopping is because if you kept going you would write something really dirty with Al and Roy. _ Ok shut up I don't want to have to rate this thing M just for one really sick scene so I am simple not going to write it.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Der

(that was written by Ted, Gwen's true love)

Then all of a sudden Ed realized something, "Hey you fixed my brother so why can't you fix me?"

"Oh well I guess I could try," said Krit pointing the remote and zapping Ed with it.

"Awesome my arm is all better and . . . Why are my fingers and toes still metal!" yelled Ed.

"Well that was all I could do with out throwing off the balance of the planet your going to have to wait another 30 minutes before I can restore you anymore, sorry." said Krit not really caring.

"What, why you took care of my brother completely so why not me!"

"Time for remote lesson 104!" screamed Gwen all of a sudden desks fell from the sky, and Krit instantly became a teacher, ( oh god I have lower then minimum wage). Everyone got into desks; except for Roy and Al mostly because Al was still pawing at Roy.

"STOP MAKING OUT IN MY CLASS OR I'LL BEAT YOU!" yelled Krit pulling out a metal pipe, Al seemed upset but just picked himself and Roy; walked over to a desk and sat in it. By this time Roy had given up and was now trying to make himself comfortable in Al's lap.

"Today class we are going to learn about G. U. R," said Krit in a nice teachers voice but still holding the pipe.

"What?" asked Ed.

"God's Universal Remote, duh you've never paid attention in school," said Kira sounding very annoyed.

"That's right Kira," said Krit, this making Kira look very smug. "The ways of the remote are very simple once you know the rules really. When it comes to making things appear you must first locate the item from some ware else then teleport it to you. The item may come to you but then it will be missing from some ware else, ok everyone got that? Just then a cell phone rang, Krit answered it, _"Where is my car! Robin didn't take it and.." _

" Unrecht Nummer!"

"_Nein!"_

"Falso número!"

"_No"_

"Incorrect numéral!"

"_Non!"_

"Yanlýþ sayý!"

"_Hayýr!"_

"Fasullo novero!"

"_I know it's you so stop trying to confuse me!"_

"Welcome pizza hut may I take your order?" said Krit pushing buttons on the remote.

"_I fucking hate you right now."_

"Your pizza will be there in 30 seconds or your drink is free."

"What the hell are you. . . . _crash_ oh my god my car! . . . . . That was 40 seconds by the way." With that Krit pushed one button and hung up the phone.

"See class I teleported his car back to him, then I teleported him in the middle of the Arctic ocean."

"Poor Batman didn't stand a chance," said Kira and Gwen nodded; Ed just twitched.

"Now on with the lesson; portals are the easiest things to do with the remote. A portal is simple a rip in reality ware organisms from either plain can move back and forth until then portal is closed." Then Gwen raised her hand, "Yes question?"

"What happens if the portal is closed and there is still someone traveling through?"

"Good question, we have never really tested this but we have a few theories as to what happens to you. The first is that you simple get pulled out of it and back to ware you entered from. The second you get thrown forward into a random alternate dimension, you could end up in the one you wanted but there are so many its not likely; and of course the last the rift tares you apart and you scattered parts float in a dimensional rift for all time. We could easily test it now even," then Krit made a little hamster appear. He was a cute little hamster, with a little button nose and big eyes full of hope of finding a loving home someday. Krit smiling at the hamster gave him a little ball of food, overjoyed the hamster ate it in one bite. Just as he swallowed it Krit opened a portal tossed the hamster in and closed it quickly.

A look of horror crossed Ed, Roy, and Al's face.

"What did you do that for!" yelled Ed.

"I thought you were a scientist and in the name of science I must find out if my hypothesis is correct."

"What was you hypothesis?" asked Roy still sitting in Al's lap.

"Being closed off in a dimensional portal before reaching the destination would result in instant death." said Krit looking at a small screen on the remote. "Hypothesis correct," was all she said next. This was followed by a long silence.

"Oh I can fix the rest of you Ed," then Krit pointed the remote at Ed and pressed a button, and he was all normal again. This gave Ed extreme joy but then a though came to him.

"Explain how you fixed us." said Ed very serious all of a sudden.

"I didn't take any ones limbs Ed. I used mice. A rodents body chemistry is very similar to a humans, so I use the remote to break apart the mice and reform them into that you would have been at this present time. Now you will grow and not have to worry about anything. I just didn't want to throw off the natural balance is all and it took a lot of mice to fix your little brother so I had to wait a bit. The good thing about mice is they breed fast."

Ed just looked at his arm for a long time then looked up at Krit, "No amount of therapy will ever make this moment ok." Then the desks disappeared and Krit went back to "normal."

Just then a mole waddled up to Gwen and spoke, _"We have successfully released the secret weapon and just as you predicted they are either dieing or fleeing."_

"Secret weapon?" asked Roy looking at Gwen.

"Pepto-Bismol, I had them fluid the tunnels with the stuff," replied Gwen

"Uh why?" asked Ed

"The evil things spit acid so I use a acid reflux medicine duh."

". . ."

"Any way now all we have to do is help Krit clean out her place and we will be fine," said Kira. Then the giant Viking Eskimos on flying penguins attacked.

"THE ANTARCTIC SPECIAL POLICE FORCE WERE FUCKING SCREWED!" scream Krit as they were dived bombed by the Antarctic police. Being attacked from the air made Gwen curl up in a little ball and scream bloody murder.

"Well she is use less," said Kira, "and so am I." With that Kira grabbed the remote pointed it at herself and went back to her living room.

"Oh I am so going to kill you if I live thought this!" yelled Krit as Kira dropped the remote and jumped into the portal. Just then a axe flew from above and almost cut Gwen if half but she had fallen over in her panicked sobbing and it just missed her.

"GWEN QUICKLY THAT VIKING JUST ATE TED'S HEAD!" as those word were uttered a silence fell on all of them. Suddenly Gwen sat up picked up the axe and launched it back at the Viking that had thrown it and cut him in half.

"Gwen is that your arm?" looking up they saw Gwen's arm in a cage being carried by a penguin.

"FIRST TED THEM MY ARM THAT'S IT YOUR GOING TO DIE! KRIT WEAPONS!"

Krit started fiddling with the remote, until a box appeared. A little confused everyone looked at it.

"What is that, and what are we supposed to do with that?" asked Ed.

"Those are Kira's shoes."

"WHAT YOU BROUGHT THOSE HERE!" with that Gwen launched it at the Vikings. Whi in turn caught it and opened it. This dropped three of them instantly, including the one that had Gwen's arm.

"My arm!" yelled Gwen picking it up and putting it back on like it had never been removed.

"What the hell!" screamed Roy pointing at Gwen.

"I don't know and I am not going to ask this is already to fucked up for me anyway," said Ed. As Ed finished his sentence, Gwen pulled out a Uzi and started firing at the Vikings, soon all of them had dropped from the sky.

"That. . .that was a lot easer than I thought it would be," said Krit.

"What are you talking about you didn't do anything I did all of the work and," all of a sudden Gwen saw a bird in the sky coming toward them. This cause Gwen to freak seeing as she is terrified of things that can fly, "DIE SHIT HAWK!" screamed Gwen shooting at the bird. The hawk hit the ground in front of Krit, and left a small crater.

"FUCK! That was one of my messengers!"

"Ummm oops."

"That breaks the treaty, are you TRYING to cause another war?" Gwen then picked a hatchet and beheaded the bird.

"There now tell them the Vikings did it," said Gwen

"Whatever," said Krit seeing what the message was, "Well good news we have reclaimed are land from the evil ones."

"Dose this mean you can send us back now?" asked Al.

"I guess we could," said Krit opening up another portal, and started pushing everyone through it. After they had gotten through it portal they prepared for there goodbyes.

"Get the fuck away from me! You have permanently deformed me and Roy, and you have cause me permanent mental trauma!" yelled Ed.

"Well I thank you for fixing us and turning Roy into a kitty but I hope you don't come back any time soon," said Al still hugging Roy.

"I hate you, I hate you and I hope you die," said Roy still being crushed by Al.

"Been there done that, and happy to be of service!" said Krit happily.

"Hey Krit can I have the remote for a bit?"

"No."

"Come on it can't be that hard to control," said Gwen grabbing one end of the remote. This caused a Tug-a-War match.

"LET GO ITS MINE!" screamed Krit, still pulling on it.

"LIKE YOU EVEN NEED THIS THING!" Gwen yelled back.

Sparks started to come off of the remote and all of a sudden just a mole and a fox were fighting over the remote. Then there were some cracking noises; followed by a shower of sparkly lights. A black vortex opened under the two and they were sucked in.

"What the fuck was that?" asked Ed.

"Don't know don't care there gone," said Al.

"I hope there dead." Stated Ed.

A/N: Sorry this took so long I was very busy the last couple of days. _Bull shit you've been dancing the last couple of days. _I have not, and what do you know you stupid monkey statue. _ I am a statue so I'm not really stupid ware you are the one TALKING to me. _ I really hate you. ANYWAY, hope you liked it please look for are next story named after a food item!


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